To adapt the immortal lyrics of Olivia Rodrigo, “co-comparison is killing [dancers] slowly.” No shock, when you think about what dance is: a extremely aggressive artform practiced in entrance of a mirror, shared on social media with simply in contrast stats, and set in opposition to the backdrop of a pandemic that’s inhibiting coaching and sidelining careers. Everybody (and I imply everybody) is certain to be seeing some shade of inexperienced as of late.

So what are you able to do to deal with these arduous emotions? How are you going to maintain jealousy from threatening your relationships, your coaching and your psychological well being? On the flip facet, can envy ever be embraced or leveraged that will help you enhance? We spoke with consultants to convey you the solutions to those questions and extra.

Jealousy 101

People expertise jealousy after they’re afraid of dropping one thing they worth. For dancers, that’s usually our place in dance (our relative rank in a bunch of dancers, our place of favor with the instructor, and many others.). However jealousy may also be triggered by different kinds of loss, like when your shut buddy begins spending extra time with that new dancer on the studio—and fewer time with you.

The Plus Facet

In response to New York–primarily based psychologist (and former New York Metropolis Ballet dancer) Linda Hamilton, jealousy truly has some advantages. For instance: Envy might be extremely motivating. “If a brand new dancer is solid in roles you felt you need to get, you would possibly really feel jealousy,” Hamilton says. “However these emotions might be the wake-up name that tells you you’re being ignored or that your profession has stalled—and that it is advisable do one thing about it.” Jealousy could push you to have a dialog along with your director about what they need you to work on to be ready for these roles. Chances are you’ll really feel impressed to discover a new instructor to mentor you in your coaching and profession. In some situations, jealousy could even lead you to audition for different corporations that could be a greater match for you.

For Richmond Ballet’s Ira White, jealousy performed a key position in his profession. At 11 years previous, not lengthy after discovering dance by the Richmond Ballet’s outreach program Minds in Movement, White auditioned for the ballet firm’s Nutcracker. “There have been some buddies of mine on the audition who have been taking ballet lessons, and I might inform that they had a leg up on me when it comes to terminology and talent,” he says. “I used to be jealous of their expertise, and it pushed me to wish to take ballet lessons and develop into extra assured in myself as a dancer.”

From that preliminary set off, White expanded his coaching into quite a lot of genres, and in the end noticed his potential for an expert profession. From the varsity at Richmond Ballet to a trainee place to a second firm contract to seven years with the primary firm, none of White’s profession objectives might have been potential with out that little push from jealousy.

The Arduous Reality

In fact, emotions of envy may also be harmful. In response to Hamilton, if you happen to undergo from low shallowness or anxiousness, you’re extra vulnerable to a detrimental expertise with jealousy. “Jealousy is especially dangerous when it’s uncalled for,” Hamilton says. “I’ve labored with extraordinarily gifted dancers who would obsess over comparability, think about the worst-case situation and attempt to tackle it in hurtful methods, like deciding they aren’t ok, overworking themselves to the purpose of damage, or growing an consuming dysfunction.”

When White graduated from highschool and began pursuing collegiate {and professional} objectives, he, too, skilled jealousy’s detrimental results. “There was a dancer who auditioned for Juilliard on the identical time that I did—he obtained in and I obtained reduce,” White says. “A couple of years down the street, I noticed that he began dancing for Hubbard Road, a possibility I personally had actually hoped for. I used to be jealous of his profession.” These emotions have been tough for White to deal with, and sometimes impacted his shallowness. Finally, White got here to comprehend that evaluating his profession trajectory to another person’s wasn’t productive. “Everybody must comply with their very own path,” he says. “Your trajectory must be about dance itself, and what’s significant to you. It shouldn’t be about what is going to impress others.”

Discovering Steadiness

The road between optimistic and detrimental jealousy is a nice one. Right here, Hamilton shares recommendation for making jealousy constructive.

1. SEEK HELP. “If you’re an anxious individual, cognitive behavioral remedy could be helpful,” Hamilton says. “It’s good to have somebody to speak with, to distinguish between emotions from points you’ll be able to remedy, or from imagining the worst-case situation.”
2. BE MINDFUL. “Cease and be aware while you really feel jealous, with out judgment,” Hamilton says. “Ask what triggered these emotions. Do they stem from anxiousness? Perfectionism? Despair? That curiosity in and of itself will probably be very constructive. Naming issues offers you cognitive management over them.”
3. LET GO OF COMPARISON. “I’ve purchasers who stroll into class and instantly evaluate how they measure as much as each different dancer,” Hamilton says. “You’ll at all times discover somebody who can do one thing you’ll be able to’t. Worrying about it received’t make you are feeling any higher. As a substitute, go into class with objectives you want to work on every day, like musicality or phrasing. Concentrate on these objectives, as an alternative of on everybody else. If watching different dancers continues to set off you, take your contacts out or look away from the mirror.”